football – Around Hanwell and up the allotment

Brentford FC in the Premier League 2021/22– episode 11

May – It’s the final countdown!

Manchester United 3 Brentford 0 Monday 2 May

A measure of the power of the United brand is that the club isn’t mentioned by name on the tickets, nor on the programme cover. And of course, a visit to Old Trafford, like Anfield, was what we dreamt of on that glorious day at Wembley last year.

We made a May Bank Holiday weekend of it, staying in Salford, which has a much different feel to it than the City Centre where we stayed for the City game earlier in the season. We posed for pictures outside the Salford Lads Club, which is actually on Coronation Street. Surreal.

Old Trafford didn’t disappoint. It’s a lovely ground. There was a lot going on and a lot more Mancunian accents than we’d expected. Darkness fell as the 8pm kick-off approached and some United fans protested in the drizzle against the Glazer owners; a lot of green and yellow scarves. Inside, green and yellow flares and a mass walkout of fans planned for the second half.

73,482 spectators witnessed interim manager Ralf Rangnick’s last home game. Can’t have been easy for him. It was also Juan Mata’s last home game. Jesse Lingard didn’t even feature. All a bit subdued.

The programme was one of those big square ones, fact packed with lots of photos. It had a pretty good junior section, including a pull-out Legends of the North poster that some of us junior 60-year-olds folded into over-sized paper aeroplanes. Made a change from red and white balloons…

Cristiano Ronaldo was yet again the figure everyone loves to hate. Why does such a good player have to keep falling over whenever anyone gets within 10 feet of him? One missed free kick prompted a ‘You’re just a shit Sammy Saunders…’ which led to a medley of the old songs.

I could swear those goal posts are leaning backwards

United beat us 3–1 in the reverse fixture in January, but given our improvement since Eriksen joined, and United’s inconsistency, we were hopeful of a draw. Though Brentford tried hard we were outclassed. And we gave the ball away an awful lot. United’s first goal came after nine minutes, a class volley by Fernandes. To our delight, Ronaldo had a goal disallowed by VAR, though he did score a penalty on 61 minutes after going down following a Rico challenge. Hmmm. Ten minutes later Varane nailed it with a deflected shot.

We hardly noticed the protest walkout on 73 minutes. It just looked like the usual fair weathers leaving early to get to the car park. ‘That’s just embarrassing!’ we sang.

The final whistle went. We applauded Thomas and the boys, then filed out of the Theatre of Dreams, hopefully not for the last time. Meanwhile, the United fans seemed less than exuberant, even after this good performance.

Back to the hotel for some good old fashioned northern consolation. Meanwhile, the TV in the bar was showing an MUTV Ronaldo hagiography.

Brentford 3 Southampton 0 Saturday 7 May

Ralph Hasenhüttl’s Southampton have slipped up a few times since they thumped us 4–1 on that dark evening in January. By contrast, we’re a slicker, more confident outfit these days. The atmosphere in the Community Stadium was buzzing with expectation. As three o’clock approached we thought we could win this one.

We remember the passion of Southampton fans so maybe it was they who threw red flares/smoke bombs onto the pitch. Maybe it was us. I can’t remember now and I don’t mind them so much anyway. I even like the smell though I guess breathing smoke bomb isn’t good for you.

Why does the portal always make me chortle?

Southampton had more of the possession but we were really good. We were always in control and we made it count. Pontus and Wissa each scored within two minutes early in the first half and Ayer sealed it 10 minutes from time. Their star player Ward-Prowse didn’t get much of a look-in, and it was nice to see our own double-barrelled rising star, B-team youngster Nathan Young-Coombes, make his first team debut near the end.

Christian Eriksen – a player with ‘flare’

The chat around us was all Christian Eriksen – will he stay or will he go at the end of the season?

We had to scarper on the final whistle to get a train, so we missed the customary lap of appreciation. Though we certainly had appreciated Brentford’s magnificent performance. We are staying up!

Everton 2 Brentford 3 Sunday 15 May

So, ferry cross the Mersey. Bigger than I remember it…

We decided to make a weekend of it and got the train from Euston to Liverpool the day before the game. Hundreds of Liverpool fans were arriving for the FA Cup Final at Wembley against Chelsea, while we were on our way up to watch Liverpool’s local rivals. On the journey we both voted for Bryan Mbeumo as our Brentford player of the season. Who got your vote?

We checked in and walked up the old dock road through the waterfront hinterland. Dilapidation and renovation side by side. The scenery chimed with the state of Frank ‘the Magic Lamp’ Lampard’s Everton FC. They are in trouble. Either they, Leeds or Burnley will be going down with Norwich and Watford. And of course we beat them at home last November, though they did whop us in the Cup.

We had a pint outside the Bramley Moore pub while Liverpool were winning the FA Cup on the telly inside. Then we noticed we were right by the site of Everton’s proposed new stadium. Looks like a nice spot. But apparently, building it will mean the massive old dockyard/waterfront area loses its UNESCO World Heritage Site status.

Because of other fixture pile-ups and the requirements of TV companies, kick-off was moved to 4.30pm. Which meant that some fans couldn’t go. Consequently we were all credited with the cost of a future match. Which was nice.

A strong and determined Dixie Dean – one of the better footballing statues

Goodison Park is a lovely old ground, set back in time. None of that card-only payment nonsense for programmes here. We reckon it should be a UNESCO World Heritage Site in its own right. We were there early enough to see the Everton fans welcome their manager and players’ team coach. A right-old melée of fans young and old, milling around, willing their team to win. Singing their hearts out and waving blue smoke bombs around.

Everton reckon weeing on the portal brings good luck. We might need to try this next season…

Inside the ground, the atmosphere was big and lively, with plenty of old fashioned football songs. All that was missing was flat caps and football rattles. The players came out to a blasting of the old Z-Cars theme. Iconic time travel. It certainly felt like there were more than 38,819 people in there.

They had netting to protect them from Bees fans…

It’s also a curiosity of a ground. A giant net curtain separated us from the home fans to our left. And away players/coaching stuff have a different exit in the corner near the away fans, on the opposite side of the pitch to the dugout and home tunnel. I’m told this arrangement predates the pandemic. Not a bad thing, I suppose, as we got to see our heroes close up.

…it wasn’t enough to stop Bees players swarming.

It was an exciting game. Everton went ahead on 10 minutes. Shortly after, Pontus pulled an Everton player’s shirt in the penalty area but got away with it. Straight after, Branthwaite brought down Toney at the other end of the pitch and was sent off. Controversial decisions, but we weren’t complaining!

Brentford equalised on 37 minutes through an own goal but Everton went ahead again with a penalty bang on half time. We buried our heads in the programme for 15 minutes to try and put it out of mind. The programme is OK. A good section on Brentford but a bit stingy on the junior front.

More smoke bombs à go-go, as Everton smelt victory. But there was a double detonation of Brentford delight when Wissa and Henry scored on 62 and 64 minutes to put us 3–2 up. Unbelievable! Then to cap it all Rondon was sent off on 84 minutes for a reckless challenge on Rico. Rondon had only been on the pitch for four minutes, and it put Everton down to nine men.

We were in fine voice throughout but were still drowned out, such was the passion of Everton’s fans, at least for today. I’m told they’ve been a bit subdued most of the season. We played well, too.

Around the 80 minute mark, police filed into the ground to line the bottom of the stands. I started humming a reprise of the old Z-Cars theme.

In the aftermath of the game, results elsewhere mean Everton are likely to stay up despite losing. There were also reports that fireworks had been set off outside the Brentford players’ hotel at 3.40am the night before the game. But it didn’t stop us doing the double over them. Yes, Brentford –another double.

It was sad to hear that relatives of two Brentford players were subjected to racist abuse in the ground. I hope they caught those responsible.

Brentford 1 Leeds United 2 Sunday 22 May

All today’s games, the final ones of the season, kicked off at 4pm, with the Champions spot to be decided as well as the remaining relegation place. For Brentford, it’s a welcome spotlight of a different kind.

The photo doesn’t quite capture the lilac-ness of the Leeds away kit

Leeds are in trouble. For a while it seemed either they, Everton or Burnley would be going down with Norwich and Watford. But after Thursday night’s Great Everton Escape, it will be Burnley (at home to Newcastle) or Leeds (away to us) who join the already doomed. Leeds’ dreadful goal difference means they are in the greater peril. So, could Jesse Marsch, their new manager, inspire the team to one final effort? He was previously assistant to Man U interim Ralf Rangnick at RB Leipzig, so he should know a thing or two…

We’ve bought match day programmes for every single away game this season, and not one for a home game (we gave up on them years ago). So we treated ourselves to one for this, the last home game of the season. Mildly surprised to see it cost £4; i.e. 50p more than at other clubs. It’s pretty good though, with an interesting interview with Pontus, and a fascinating/funny top 10 events of the season by Nick Bruzon.

What I hadn’t realised, before reading this final one, was that the cover of every programme this season was illustrated by Dave Flanagan. A fellow fan had shown me his superb Eagle v Bees illustration for the Palace cover, but I didn’t know he was doing them all. You can check them out on Twitter: @daveflanagan

They can’t make out how to describe that kit. Lilac? Lavender? Shrinking violet?

Leeds started well. They obviously meant business. They thought they’d scored on 19 minutes, but VAR said no. In the second half it all went wrong for Brentford. Leeds scored a penalty on 56’. Thomas Frank then made a series of three substitutions. Then Ayer went off injured so we had to soldier on with 10 men. Sergi Canos scored a lovely goal on 78’ but got booked for taking his shirt off. Why do they do that? Two minutes later he got booked for a foul and was sent off. FFS! Leeds got their winner in stoppage time. Ironic that Brentford ended up down to nine men, just as Everton were when we played them last week. And it was disappointing to lose our last game of the season.

News reached the Leeds fans and then the players that Burnley had lost. Leeds had won. Leeds were staying up. The Leeds celebrations started with the manager, coaches and subs racing over to the away fans corner. It went on for a good while, slightly raining on our own parade, but fair play to them. One of their players even crawled from one penalty area to the other on his knees. As you do…

Eventually, the Brentford end of season celebrations started. Peter Gilham got the ball rolling by pointing out (more than once) that at no point in the season were Brentford in the bottom three (the inference being that Leeds had been). Then Christian Norgaard emerged from the tunnel carrying his small child. He had been voted player of the season but hadn’t played today through injury. An amusing moment when he was caught saying ‘Fuck’ when he thought his microphone wasn’t working. But Thomas Frank made it alright, when he started his mini-speech with “This place is fucking rock and roll!” At this point the players and staff and their families came out for the lap of appreciation.

Signing-off

In the past, in the Championship and before that in Leagues 1 & 2, we have always gone to as many home games as possible but selective about which away games we attend. This season we attempted to go to every single game, home and away, and very nearly succeeded. You have to take your hat off to those fans who do succeed, and who do so season in season out. They are a breed apart.

Obviously, in all leagues, not just the Premier League, there are some teams that are better than others. But attending so many games one after the other reinforces that awareness of fine margins, close calls, lucky escapes and wrong decisions all totting up. A differentiator.

It’s hard to believe this special season has ended. And with Brentford finishing in 13th pace to boot.

Bees are staying up! I said Bees are staying up!

Brentford FC in the Premier League 2021/22 – episode 10

April… and a spring in the step

Chelsea 1 Brentford 4 Saturday 2 April

This morning we got an email from Brentford warning against homophobic chanting and quite right too. Though it’s a long time since I’ve heard anyone sing ‘Chelsea Rent Boys’ and never at all in my time watching Brentford. Selective deafness maybe.

Yesterday we heard the news that Vitaly ‘He comes from Germany and now he is a Bee’ Janelt has signed a new contract with Brentford until 2026. Hope it’s not an April Fool wind-up. Last month Chelsea’s assets were frozen so they weren’t allowed to sell tickets, because owner Roman Abramovich is a Russian oligarch with connections to Putin. Luckily the ban has been lifted so here we are, on a tube train bound for West Kensington.

We walked to ground in the sunshine. Had lunch on the way in a familiar café. Reached the ground with 30 minutes to spare before the 3pm kick-off. We’d heard that Chelsea fans would be staging a protest against the possible future owners of the club. Don’t know if it actually happened.

No programme sellers were visible at the away fans entrance to Stamford Bridge. They must’ve been somewhere behind the masses of security personnel. Literally hundreds, dressed all in black with deep orange hi-vis. We were funnelled through the ranks of them like we were being swallowed up.

A crowd of 39,061 awaited the Two-Thomas-Tussle between managers Tuchel and Frank. Both of them good value in interviews. The stadium is impressive and the away section is very good. One of the best. We were high up in the corner of the all-blue-painted steelwork. A good view from spacious seats with standing rails behind.

‘Where were you when you were shit?’ the Brentford enquired of their West London near-neighbours. Well I was there a few times in the 80s, with my Chelsea fan uncle. When they certainly were shit – getting thrashed at home to Rotherham, narrowly escaping relegation to the old third division. The chant has a point. These fans are a different kettle of fish. Some say the old school fans got priced out, which is ironic, given that they used to wave wads of cash at northern away fans, Loadsamoney style. Maybe there’s a bit of what goes round comes around.

In the away end the mood was bright. Balloons – red, white and yellow – were launched regularly. Not to everyone’s taste and a fair few got popped. Meanwhile, down on the pitch, Brentford were playing well. Easily the equal of Chelsea and 0–0 at half time.

At one point it was only 2–1 to Brentford

In the second half Chelsea made the mistake of scoring. Or to be more precise, of losing concentration after scoring. For Rudiger’s excellent goal at the far end of the pitch was followed minutes later by one at our end by Janelt. It was followed by another three: Eriksen, Janelt again and Wissa. Every single Brentford player was brilliant. We couldn’t believe what we were seeing.

‘Fulham get battered, everywhere they go’ alternated with ‘Chelsea get sanctioned…’ and the occasional ‘Bus stop in Hounslow…’ My voice was hoarse for three days.

After the game we walked in the sunshine. It still hadn’t sunk in by the time we got to Hammersmith and stopped for a pint. Our tickets had SHED UPPER printed on them. So on the way we sang the Joe Dolce classic: It’s-a not so bad, it’s-a nice-a place, Ah SHED UPPER you face!

Ordered a programme online. Good to see Pat Nevin’s a contributor. Junior section a bit disappointing – not a lot to it really. Surely everyone would rather a spot the difference than a spot the ball?

Brentford 2 West Ham 0 Sunday 10 April

We had won the reverse fixture back in October. And as the 2pm kick-off approached we wondered whether we could do the double over the Hammers. Would be nice, especially since relegation cushion teams Everton and Leeds both won yesterday. Brings added piquancy to our game today as well as Burnley’s at Norwich.

Among the substitutes Said Benrahma is West Ham’s ex-Bee. Will David Moyes bring him on?

Kurt ‘Cat Kicker’ Zouma was booed and miaowed at every time he touched the ball. Whenever he went down he was treated to ‘That’s how your cat feels’ and ‘Put him down, put him down, put him down’. He was taken off after half an hour. Seemed to be carrying a hamstring injury?

West Ham had most of the possession in the first half but never seemed to threaten. Both sides playing a good passing game. Eriksen pulled the strings for us but the whole team played well. West Ham’s Declan Rice is a useful player.

After Bryan Mbeumo scored at the start of the second half, David Moyes did not look pleased – you could say he had a face like a cat’s arse. Ivan Toney headed-in on 64 minutes.

Seven minutes earlier Said Benrahma had come on to a standing ovation. ‘He wants to come home, he wants to come home. Said Benrahma, he wants to come home.’ But no matter how much he buzzed, prodded and dazzled, he couldn’t bring it home for West Ham, who before this game had hopes of the top four. A measure perhaps of how far Brentford have come.

We’ve just dealt the opposition a hammer blow

After the game we strolled up to South Ealing with friends, for a pint at the Rose & Crown. Where we celebrated Brentford’s first Premier League double in a spring sunshine beer garden.

Watford 1 Brentford 2 Saturday 16 April

We won the reverse fixture in December. Could the Bees do the double over the Hornets as we did to the Hammers last week?

In a perfect storm of London Underground disruptions and hordes heading to Wembley for the FA Cup semi-final, we decided to go by bus, leaving early to get through Wembley before too many Man City and (mostly) Liverpool fans had filled its sunny streets and pubs. We talked about the game, and about Burnley manager Sean Dyche’s sacking a couple of days ago.

We arrived in Watford ages before 3pm kick-off so had a walk around the town centre. Watford’s a nice place, though I hardly remembered it from my only previous visit, when Vicarage Road hosted an Elton John/Rod Stewart concert in 1974, and Rod was still with The Faces.

Andre Gray is the Hornets’ ex-Bee, currently out on loan to QPR. Before the game, the 16,861 gate saw the Watford mascot Harry the Hornet parade the outside of the pitch, except for the away fans section. I used to work with a previous Harry the Hornet, whose antics were often hilarious, especially the notorious Zaha dive. He hung up his costume in 2018. Watford also have a set-piece drummer who only drums when Watford get a free kick or corner. Didn’t hear too much from him in the first half.

The shadow is aligned with the portal and the players – surely a good sign

Norgaard scored for Brentford after just 15 minutes. Roy Hodgson, legend and Watford manager was not pleased. Even from where we were sat you could see the sleeves of his white shirt doing angry windmills on the touchline. Then Brentford sat back. A hint of complacency?

While Roy presumably waved his white shirted arms even more during half time, we perused the matchday programme. Square not A5. Had to bend it to fit in pocket. A great junior section as would befit the original family-friendly football club. A pull-out sheet with loads of quizzes, name checks and stat sheet on one side, and a poster of Ismaïla Sarr on the other.

Whatever Roy waved at half time, it certainly worked. Watford were much better in the second half. We were poor. We started to hear the set-piece drummer more and more. Watford got an equaliser, given after VAR overturned the ref’s offside decision. We got a late winner deep in time added on.

This photo lacks focus – as did Brentford at times

I and a few others around me actually felt sorry for Watford, who will probably go down now. I was impressed by the loyalty of their fans.

However, on MOTD highlights their goal did look offside. I can understand officials getting it wrong in the rush of play, but VAR? They took long enough…

Felt less sorry for Watford after that. Another Premier League double for the Bees!

Brentford 0 Tottenham Hotspur 0 Saturday 23 April

Unfortunately, we were in France for this one. What lightweights. But you can’t miss your life-long penfriend’s wedding when you’re one of the witnesses. We lent our season tickets to some friends who’d been unable to get any as members. They very kindly took a photo of the portal of potential victory.

We followed written commentary on the BBC website from a garden in Normandy. Some of the French followers of footie present hadn’t heard of Brentford, but they had heard of Christian Eriksen. We guessed it was gonna be an emotional occasion for him, and presumably, it was.

We watched the highlights on catch-up when we got back. And what highlights they were. Brentford had more chances than Spurs, Ivan Toney hitting the woodwork a couple of times. What you might call an entertaining 0–0 draw.

So proud and impressed with how we kept Spurs out and maybe even could have beaten them.

Next

The media is full of speculation that Christian Eriksen and Ivan Toney will each move to a ‘bigger club’ at the end of the season. I hope they both stay at Brentford, and I can think of several reasons why each would benefit by staying. But if one or both of them moves on, it’s not the end of the world. Eriksen has already helped us to stay up, when we might have struggled otherwise. And all of the players have improved under his influence. Brentford has always sold good players and then moved on and up.

Brentford FC in the Premier League 2021/22 – episode 6

December’s games – thick and fast

Tottenham Hotspur 2 Brentford 0 – Thursday 2 December

‘Spurs fan?’ asked security outside the Blue Coats pub near the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. ‘No.’ But he let us in anyway. Inside it was loud and friendly, and the service well organised and super-efficient. The positivity and optimism of these fans confounded my abiding memory of the Spurs fan I worked with in the 1990s. He wore a replica shirt to work on every shift, and even when they won was oh so glum, ‘We’ll probably lose next week.’

White Hart Lane has long been a distant memory of a couple of visits many years ago. This was my first time at the new stadium, and… it’s amazing. Big, bright, spacious. At most grounds, programme sellers are cash-only, even now. Here, they’re contactless-only.

Light show like something out of Close Encounters.

Waiting on the concourse involved playing our little game of managerial merry-go-round guess who’s the opposition manager this week. And of course, this evening it’s much-travelled heart-throb Antonio Conte. We also enjoyed a mega sausage roll and a pint or two. At our seats the pre-match light show was worthy of Glastonbury.

The stadium has a capacity of 62,850, including an away fan allocation of around 3,000. The attendance was 54,202. I wonder how many were Brentford. A glance at the match day programme; nice and glossy with a couple of almost-amusing caption errors under Sergi Canos’s photo.

My sheltered upbringing means I’ve never heard of the Spanish position, nor have I ever met someone who was Forward.

Tottenham cruised much of the game; they looked like they could’ve stepped up a gear had they needed to. Son Heung-Min was the stand-out player. So quick and skilful. He got an assist for Sergi Canos’s own goal on 12 minutes and scored one himself on 65 minutes. He also took all the corners, bouncing the ball like a tennis player before placing it on the corner quadrant.

It was a philosophical trudge that we made to Wood Green tube in the cold night air.

Leeds United 2 Brentford 2 – Saturday 4 December

We arrived in Leeds the night before the game, to be greeted by cold, wind and rain. Revisiting the Leeds side streets that we slipped down in our student days. Back streets and back alley pubs, some cash-only with no music, TV or wifi. Myriad Asian restaurants, many of them very good (we’ve been here before in the Championship).

We chatted about the game in prospect as we walked along the River Aire and through the railway station hinterland, then followed the hordes down to Holbeck and across the motorway footbridge to Elland Road.

Ex-Bees Stuart Dallas and Adam Forshaw are here. The popular Toumani Diagouraga, aka ‘Toums’, or even ‘Dave’ to some, left Brentford for Leeds in 2016, and is now at Morecombe. And of course our very own Pontus Janson came to Brentford from Leeds. The club have recovered well from the dark days of 2007/10 when they were down and nearly out in League 1.

The pre-match entertainment didn’t dampen our spirits.

Triangle man is sitting in front of us, blowing up red balloons and launching them above the frozen breath of the crowd. At home games he rings a triangle whenever Brentford get a corner. Been doing it for years and was one of the first Bees fans we ever met. On six minutes there was applause for Arthur Labinjo-Hughes, the child abused and killed by his father and his father’s partner who have just been sentenced. So sad and really puts things in perspective.

The match day programme is the smallest I’ve seen, but not in a bad way – it’s more pocket friendly in size. Each of the articles in the early section (the important ones that don’t usually tell you much) are signed off ‘Marching on together’, which seems to be a common theme in the signage.

On the pitch though, Leeds were marching decidedly out of step. They scored first, then we got two. As we reminded them to the tune of “Love Will Tear Us Apart”, ‘Leeds, Leeds are falling apart, again.’

‘Scoreboard, scoreboard, tell us the score!’

We were playing much better than in the previous few games. But Leeds nicked an equaliser in 90+5. From a corner at which Alvaro looked dazed and unsteady following a collision. Didn’t that happen at Spurs, too? The ground has a capacity of nearly 38,000. The attendance was 35,639. Some Leeds fans were chanting that we hadn’t sold all of our allocation.

Leeds were happy to save it at the end. We were disappointed but OK with the result. As we left the ground and into the dark streets, some Leeds fans were growling abuse at anyone in Bees colours, including youngsters. We later read that objects had been thrown at Sergi Canos and Bryan Mbeumo. This is certainly not Newcastle.

Brentford 2 Watford 1 – Friday 10 December

We usually do well on a Friday. On the way to the ground we span the wheel of managerial merry-go-round guess who’s the opposition manager – it’s Claudio Ranieri! Stand out players are Cleverley and Sissoko. Tinkerman meets Little and Large?

As usual, the cardboard portal to Premier League survival was assembled before the start of the game. Five minutes later it was dismantled.

Watford were in yellow shirts with thin black hoops. All the players took the knee and the fans applauded. We started well. Lots of possession. Winning the ball back well in midfield. Janelt safe and steady playing at left centreback. ‘He comes from Germany…’

Then Watford scored. A recurring nightmare as yellow flare smoke came wafting along the stand from the away section and our play became disjointed. Just like the Norwich game. Triangle man responded by blowing up red balloons again and punching them into the cold night air.

Watford goalie trying to put Bryan off by the penalty spot.

We got two late on to win the game. A Pontus header on 84. A Bryan penalty on 90+5. Watford were stunned, Hornets stung by Bees.

Brentford v Manchester United – Tuesday 14 December

There could be no better time to play United, a club in transition following the sacking of Solskjaer, and the immediate departure of caretaker Michael Carrick after his final game. Rangnick’s got his work cut out with an unsettled squad.

We’ve even done the Covid vaccination pass stuff. But no, the game was postponed due to cases of Covid in the United camp. B***er. Surprised to learn that top-level players at some clubs haven’t been vaccinated. Whatever the rights and wrongs, you’d have thought the big clubs would have insisted on it, when they control so much else of their players’ lives.

Southampton v Brentford – Saturday 18 December

Postponed, this time because of cases of Covid in the Brentford camp. Thomas Frank is among those calling for all games to be called off until the situation is resolved. That won’t happen.

Brentford 0 Chelsea 2 (EFL Cup Quarter Final) – Tuesday 21 December

A 7.45pm kick-off, and we arrived earlier than usual for the Covid pass checks now being introduced at all grounds. Some fans were even wearing masks, which may explain why the singing was a bit muted.

Brentford were inflicted with an unfair yellow on 11 minutes which left many bemoaning the favour referees appear to give the elite clubs. I’m not sure how true that is, but it certainly set the tone for subsequent decisions.

Chelsea dominated possession in the first half with their lovely, precise passing. But we had the best chances. Half-time entertainment came in the form of the Brentford subs (probably unwittingly) skipping and high-kicking in time to Wham’s “Last Christmas”.

In the second half Chelsea turned up the heat and brought on Jorginho and Pulisic. Ghoddos came on for Henry on 73 minutes, a decision that mystified some fellow-fans. On 74 minutes the ball was cleared, looping out of play and down into the stairway exit near our section of the North Stand. We cheered as though we’d scored. Not long after, Chelsea brought on the biggest gun, N’Golo Kanté, who immediately controlled the midfield. Ominous. His pass to Reece James led to goalmouth confusion and Pontus own-goaled. Five minutes later we conceded a soft penalty.

Chelsea players applaud their fans. Thomas Frank applauds ours.

We played well but Chelsea deserved to win. Roll on the old cliché about concentrating on the league and isn’t the FA Cup a bigger deal anyway?

Brighton 2 Brentford 0 – Sunday 26 December

The first of the return fixtures. An 8.00 pm kick-off on a Boxing Day Sunday with no trains running and several other games postponed because of Covid. Brentford fans met the travel challenge admirably, in our case by driving down the day before in unending rain and through many partially flooded roads.

A walk to the sea at Rottingdean during a lull in the drizzle and later a ride on a bus full of Brighton fans to the ground. Its capacity is 30,666 and the gate was 30,141, though many of them must’ve arrived late because the place looked half empty in the first half.

Couldn’t find a programme seller so I ordered one online the next day. It’s pretty good, with an interesting section on Brentford. There’s also a pull-out section-cum-poster on Brighton player Tariq Lamptey. We know manager Graham Potter from his time at Swansea in the Championship. Seems a decent fellow.

Sometimes it felt like we were tilting at windmills like this one on the South Downs.

A more thorough Covid pass check but still no attempt at verification. More masks being worn. A pie and a pint on the concourse. We like the ground and its cushioned seats but there was no sitting down today. After a bright start by Brentford, Trossard scored for Brighton on the counter. Then ex-Bee Neal Maupay got their second with a wonder strike.

It didn’t take Brighton’s fans long to take our ‘Hey Sergi Canos, ooh, ah! I wanna know, how d’ya score that goal!’ song and adapt it to Neal Maupay. A double stab to the heart. The top deck of the bus back to the hotel rang with choruses of ‘Albion! Albion!’

Seagulls entering the portal of imminent victory before the game.

Brighton are the first and probably won’t be the last team to do the double over us this season. They’ve had a bad run of results recently and it wouldn’t surprise me if we were the last team they beat, way back in September.

In the days after this game there was unease on social media about whether our performance suffered because of injuries, tiredness or style of play. We side with those who say this affects most clubs outside the big four, so get behind the team and enjoy this special time come what may.

Brentford 0 Manchester City 1 – Wednesday 29 December

All a bit weird, two days before the game the Premier League announced a record 103 new cases of Covid-19 among Premier League clubs’ staff and players during the previous week. But most games are going ahead nevertheless. The club was doing a more thorough inspection of Covid passes than previously, so much so that mine was rejected and it took some persuading that it was indeed not out of date.

Man City practising before the game. But they don’t really need to.

An 8.15pm kick-off because it was being shown on Amazon. The camera operator scuttled away from the centre spot and only just made it to the touchline before kick-off. What’s that all about?

City played in light blue. It was a nice change for an away team to play in a strip other than yellow, especially when Brentford’s away kit is also yellow. Whatever happened to that lovely away kit from last season (or maybe the one before) – dark grey with orange/red socks?

The game? Oh, yeah. Well we were brilliant. One of the best performances I’ve seen from Brentford, though I am starting to think there’s a grain of truth in the referees never book stars allegation. Champions and table toppers City got away with a good few bits of naughtiness.

City’s goal came from a De Bruyne pass that was so perfect you hardly noticed Foden guide it into the net.

Next time…

Well, that was some sleigh ride together for two, too. And we go again on Sunday with the second of the return fixtures, at home to Villa. Mercifully, there are just three league games and one FA Cup game in January, unless the Premier League decides to shoe-horn in some rearranged fixtures.

Stop press, the Premier League has just decided to shoe-horn in the postponed game at Southampton a few days after Port Vale.

Happy New Year!

Brentford FC in the Premier League 2021/22 – episode 5

November – getting back into our stride

Brentford 1 Norwich City 2 – Saturday 6 November

After three straight league defeats this was starting to feel like a must-win tussle against a side who haven’t won a single game all season.

The Last Post was well observed by all, except for one drunken Norwich fan, at what would be the last home game before Remembrance Sunday. The Norwich fans were first out of the blocks with the singing, easily out-performing the Brentford. The Norwich players were doing well on the pitch too, smelling blood as Brentford couldn’t get their act together.

When Normann scored for Norwich their fans let off a yellowy-green flare. People were complaining about the smell, but I quite liked it. Then Pukki scored, but no follow-up flare was forthcoming. Perhaps the fans hadn’t considered they’d get more than one goal. They settled instead for a rendition of ‘We’re winning away, we’re winning away. How s**t must you be…’

Thomas Frank made some bold substitutions in an attempt to right the ship. Bold as in surprising, to some of the fans around us. Only Bryan Mbeumo appeared to be playing well. Rico got one back for us on 60 minutes and we looked good for a while. An equaliser seemed possible.

…that our lads should strike such curious poses

It was so disappointing. We really should’ve won at home to the bottom club, who up till now had lost seven and drawn two. Brave Thomas Frank still did his walk round the edge of pitch, applauding the fans. Many of the players did a shorter lap of appreciation, not much more than the edge of the centre circle.

Some Brentford fans with children were seated near the away fans section. A couple of them weren’t happy at the intimidating behaviour of some of the Norwich fans. Apparently it was much worse than the usual away fan banter.

To top it all, the Norwich manager, Daniel Farke, was sacked after the game despite winning. Harsh. He was soon replaced by ex-Brentford boss Dean Smith. And so it goes, round and round.

In the days that followed Brentford fans were taken to task on social media for not singing loud enough for long enough. Some are suggesting that outsiders have been applying to be club members in order to buy tickets to sell to away fans at a profit, thus diluting the proportion of true fans in the crowd. Whatever the truth of it, while we do need to be more consistently supportive when things aren’t going well, it can’t be the reason things are patchy on the pitch.

We’re singing a sad song at the moment, and the whole club needs to make it better (preferably by the end of the international break).

Newcastle United 3 Brentford 3 – Saturday 20 November

The full moon on the Tyne is mine all mine

We have fond memories of coming here when Newcastle were in the Championship, even though we lost. Is it really five years since we were last in The Home of Greggs?

We were also excited at the prospect of our first game since the international break and return to a place we like, so we went up on the train the day before. We passed through Durham, which looks beautiful and unspoilt – must visit one day. Then the Angel of the North up on the hill just to the east. We had a lovely seafood meal at Big Mussels – they should have these everywhere.

The morning before the game, we walked across the curved angle of a bouncy footbridge over the river to Gateshead and west along the south bank of the Tyne footpath. Then back over the river on the high road bridge, my legs weak with vertigo.

You can see the Isle of Man from up here

More vertigo was experienced while climbing/crawling up to our seats. St James’s Park is lower on two sides to give light to some beautiful Georgian terraced houses right by the stadium. The very top of one of the high sides is where they put the away fans. Somewhere far, far below, the Bees are playing the Magpies. Meanwhile, up here, Bees fans are reminding Newcastle that Ivan Toney was once on their books – ‘He left cos you’re s**t!’, etc.

It was certainly an exciting game. Newcastle scored on 10 minutes and Ivan Toney equalised a minute later. Rico then put us in the lead on the half-hour, and Newcastle equalised shortly after.

When Newcastle fans cheer, they sure do cheer, a tumultuous roar from 50,000-odd Geordies whenever Newcastle went on the attack. Wonder if they ever heard us, a thousand or so Bees fans up in the gods, as anything more than a distant faint buzz, even though we sang our hearts out.

Jamie from Made in Chelsea on the cover of the programme

New manager Eddie Howe wasn’t present; he’s got Covid. But he was on the cover of the match day programme. At least, I think it was him. The programme’s away team section was interesting, as always. Spent most of half time looking at a picture of Kevin O’Connor that didn’t look like him. But who else could it be?

The second half didn’t disappoint. Onyeka put us back in the lead on the hour mark but we knew it was far from over. On 75 minutes Newcastle equalised again and went all out for the winner. But we held on. We’re getting better at that.

Somewhere down there we’ve just earned a thrilling draw

After the game we met up with some Bees friends and went to the Trent Star pub nearby. Heaving with Newcastle fans it was. A few of them clocked our accents and turned round for a chat. Asking us about the game and the club. All very friendly and not a hint of bother.

Brentford 1 Everton 0 – Sunday 28 November

‘Tickets?’ was the one-word email sent by my Everton-supporting friend that was supposed to pass for a message of congratulation when Bees got promoted way back in sunny May.

Rafa Benitez didn’t pick Ivan Toney when both were at Newcastle Utd. We always do. Rafa’s now at injury-ravaged Everton. Bet he wishes he had an Ivan Toney there.

Our first home game in a while and boy was it cold. So cold Sergei’s barnet had turned a frosty snowman grey. Or maybe he’s been at the hair-dye again. Everton were wearing their home kit at an away fixture. Is that unusual?

Brentford started brightly, controlling the midfield, with Toney sometimes coming deep to help out more than usual. Indeed, we bossed the whole of the first half.

We got a VAR-assisted penalty on 24 minutes after Andros Townsend kicked Frank ‘the Tank’ Onyeka in the side of the head. We were all surprised that Townsend wasn’t booked, but after seeing it on telly later I reckon the ref got it right. I hate watching Ivan Toney take those two-step penalties. They always go in, though. He doesn’t look at the ball, or the goal. His eyes stay fixed on the goalie. He sent England’s No.1, Jordan Pickford, the wrong way.

The wags in the row behind proceeded to discuss the heights of various goalkeepers. Eventually I worked out that ‘T-Rex arms’ is Pickford. A little harsh.

Everton seemed sluggish and ordinary, apart from Dacouré. But in the second half they were much better and we were mostly pretty awful. Desperate clearances hoofed high and hopeful. We just couldn’t keep possession of the ball. But weirdly, the longer it went on, the less likely it looked that Everton would score, for all their domination and waves of attacks. For us it was more frustrating than fingernail-biting.

But three points is three points and a clean sheet is a clean sheet. The victory came as a welcome respite from a winless run of five games in the league. There were some good Brentford performances, too, particularly from Alvaro ‘Woah-Oh!’ Fernandez and Charlie ‘E’s a’ Goode. And Wissa looked useful when he came on near the end. So good to see him back from his ankle injury.

‘Aaaaaaaargh!’ was the one-word email sent by my Everton-supporting friend later that evening.

Next time…

Nice to end the month on a high note. And nice that although we’ve lost a few games we haven’t been tonked yet, so the goal difference is OK. Now we need to gird our loins for a whole eight games in December – seven in the league and one in the EFL Cup. Merry Christmas everyone and Bee Happy!