May – It’s the final countdown!
Manchester United 3 Brentford 0 Monday 2 May
A measure of the power of the United brand is that the club isn’t mentioned by name on the tickets, nor on the programme cover. And of course, a visit to Old Trafford, like Anfield, was what we dreamt of on that glorious day at Wembley last year.
We made a May Bank Holiday weekend of it, staying in Salford, which has a much different feel to it than the City Centre where we stayed for the City game earlier in the season. We posed for pictures outside the Salford Lads Club, which is actually on Coronation Street. Surreal.
Old Trafford didn’t disappoint. It’s a lovely ground. There was a lot going on and a lot more Mancunian accents than we’d expected. Darkness fell as the 8pm kick-off approached and some United fans protested in the drizzle against the Glazer owners; a lot of green and yellow scarves. Inside, green and yellow flares and a mass walkout of fans planned for the second half.
73,482 spectators witnessed interim manager Ralf Rangnick’s last home game. Can’t have been easy for him. It was also Juan Mata’s last home game. Jesse Lingard didn’t even feature. All a bit subdued.
The programme was one of those big square ones, fact packed with lots of photos. It had a pretty good junior section, including a pull-out Legends of the North poster that some of us junior 60-year-olds folded into over-sized paper aeroplanes. Made a change from red and white balloons…
Cristiano Ronaldo was yet again the figure everyone loves to hate. Why does such a good player have to keep falling over whenever anyone gets within 10 feet of him? One missed free kick prompted a ‘You’re just a shit Sammy Saunders…’ which led to a medley of the old songs.
United beat us 3–1 in the reverse fixture in January, but given our improvement since Eriksen joined, and United’s inconsistency, we were hopeful of a draw. Though Brentford tried hard we were outclassed. And we gave the ball away an awful lot. United’s first goal came after nine minutes, a class volley by Fernandes. To our delight, Ronaldo had a goal disallowed by VAR, though he did score a penalty on 61 minutes after going down following a Rico challenge. Hmmm. Ten minutes later Varane nailed it with a deflected shot.
We hardly noticed the protest walkout on 73 minutes. It just looked like the usual fair weathers leaving early to get to the car park. ‘That’s just embarrassing!’ we sang.
The final whistle went. We applauded Thomas and the boys, then filed out of the Theatre of Dreams, hopefully not for the last time. Meanwhile, the United fans seemed less than exuberant, even after this good performance.
Back to the hotel for some good old fashioned northern consolation. Meanwhile, the TV in the bar was showing an MUTV Ronaldo hagiography.
Brentford 3 Southampton 0 Saturday 7 May
Ralph Hasenhüttl’s Southampton have slipped up a few times since they thumped us 4–1 on that dark evening in January. By contrast, we’re a slicker, more confident outfit these days. The atmosphere in the Community Stadium was buzzing with expectation. As three o’clock approached we thought we could win this one.
We remember the passion of Southampton fans so maybe it was they who threw red flares/smoke bombs onto the pitch. Maybe it was us. I can’t remember now and I don’t mind them so much anyway. I even like the smell though I guess breathing smoke bomb isn’t good for you.
Southampton had more of the possession but we were really good. We were always in control and we made it count. Pontus and Wissa each scored within two minutes early in the first half and Ayer sealed it 10 minutes from time. Their star player Ward-Prowse didn’t get much of a look-in, and it was nice to see our own double-barrelled rising star, B-team youngster Nathan Young-Coombes, make his first team debut near the end.
The chat around us was all Christian Eriksen – will he stay or will he go at the end of the season?
We had to scarper on the final whistle to get a train, so we missed the customary lap of appreciation. Though we certainly had appreciated Brentford’s magnificent performance. We are staying up!
Everton 2 Brentford 3 Sunday 15 May
We decided to make a weekend of it and got the train from Euston to Liverpool the day before the game. Hundreds of Liverpool fans were arriving for the FA Cup Final at Wembley against Chelsea, while we were on our way up to watch Liverpool’s local rivals. On the journey we both voted for Bryan Mbeumo as our Brentford player of the season. Who got your vote?
We checked in and walked up the old dock road through the waterfront hinterland. Dilapidation and renovation side by side. The scenery chimed with the state of Frank ‘the Magic Lamp’ Lampard’s Everton FC. They are in trouble. Either they, Leeds or Burnley will be going down with Norwich and Watford. And of course we beat them at home last November, though they did whop us in the Cup.
We had a pint outside the Bramley Moore pub while Liverpool were winning the FA Cup on the telly inside. Then we noticed we were right by the site of Everton’s proposed new stadium. Looks like a nice spot. But apparently, building it will mean the massive old dockyard/waterfront area loses its UNESCO World Heritage Site status.
Because of other fixture pile-ups and the requirements of TV companies, kick-off was moved to 4.30pm. Which meant that some fans couldn’t go. Consequently we were all credited with the cost of a future match. Which was nice.
Goodison Park is a lovely old ground, set back in time. None of that card-only payment nonsense for programmes here. We reckon it should be a UNESCO World Heritage Site in its own right. We were there early enough to see the Everton fans welcome their manager and players’ team coach. A right-old melée of fans young and old, milling around, willing their team to win. Singing their hearts out and waving blue smoke bombs around.
Inside the ground, the atmosphere was big and lively, with plenty of old fashioned football songs. All that was missing was flat caps and football rattles. The players came out to a blasting of the old Z-Cars theme. Iconic time travel. It certainly felt like there were more than 38,819 people in there.
It’s also a curiosity of a ground. A giant net curtain separated us from the home fans to our left. And away players/coaching stuff have a different exit in the corner near the away fans, on the opposite side of the pitch to the dugout and home tunnel. I’m told this arrangement predates the pandemic. Not a bad thing, I suppose, as we got to see our heroes close up.
It was an exciting game. Everton went ahead on 10 minutes. Shortly after, Pontus pulled an Everton player’s shirt in the penalty area but got away with it. Straight after, Branthwaite brought down Toney at the other end of the pitch and was sent off. Controversial decisions, but we weren’t complaining!
Brentford equalised on 37 minutes through an own goal but Everton went ahead again with a penalty bang on half time. We buried our heads in the programme for 15 minutes to try and put it out of mind. The programme is OK. A good section on Brentford but a bit stingy on the junior front.
More smoke bombs à go-go, as Everton smelt victory. But there was a double detonation of Brentford delight when Wissa and Henry scored on 62 and 64 minutes to put us 3–2 up. Unbelievable! Then to cap it all Rondon was sent off on 84 minutes for a reckless challenge on Rico. Rondon had only been on the pitch for four minutes, and it put Everton down to nine men.
We were in fine voice throughout but were still drowned out, such was the passion of Everton’s fans, at least for today. I’m told they’ve been a bit subdued most of the season. We played well, too.
Around the 80 minute mark, police filed into the ground to line the bottom of the stands. I started humming a reprise of the old Z-Cars theme.
In the aftermath of the game, results elsewhere mean Everton are likely to stay up despite losing. There were also reports that fireworks had been set off outside the Brentford players’ hotel at 3.40am the night before the game. But it didn’t stop us doing the double over them. Yes, Brentford –another double.
It was sad to hear that relatives of two Brentford players were subjected to racist abuse in the ground. I hope they caught those responsible.
Brentford 1 Leeds United 2 Sunday 22 May
All today’s games, the final ones of the season, kicked off at 4pm, with the Champions spot to be decided as well as the remaining relegation place. For Brentford, it’s a welcome spotlight of a different kind.
Leeds are in trouble. For a while it seemed either they, Everton or Burnley would be going down with Norwich and Watford. But after Thursday night’s Great Everton Escape, it will be Burnley (at home to Newcastle) or Leeds (away to us) who join the already doomed. Leeds’ dreadful goal difference means they are in the greater peril. So, could Jesse Marsch, their new manager, inspire the team to one final effort? He was previously assistant to Man U interim Ralf Rangnick at RB Leipzig, so he should know a thing or two…
We’ve bought match day programmes for every single away game this season, and not one for a home game (we gave up on them years ago). So we treated ourselves to one for this, the last home game of the season. Mildly surprised to see it cost £4; i.e. 50p more than at other clubs. It’s pretty good though, with an interesting interview with Pontus, and a fascinating/funny top 10 events of the season by Nick Bruzon.
What I hadn’t realised, before reading this final one, was that the cover of every programme this season was illustrated by Dave Flanagan. A fellow fan had shown me his superb Eagle v Bees illustration for the Palace cover, but I didn’t know he was doing them all. You can check them out on Twitter: @daveflanagan
Leeds started well. They obviously meant business. They thought they’d scored on 19 minutes, but VAR said no. In the second half it all went wrong for Brentford. Leeds scored a penalty on 56’. Thomas Frank then made a series of three substitutions. Then Ayer went off injured so we had to soldier on with 10 men. Sergi Canos scored a lovely goal on 78’ but got booked for taking his shirt off. Why do they do that? Two minutes later he got booked for a foul and was sent off. FFS! Leeds got their winner in stoppage time. Ironic that Brentford ended up down to nine men, just as Everton were when we played them last week. And it was disappointing to lose our last game of the season.
News reached the Leeds fans and then the players that Burnley had lost. Leeds had won. Leeds were staying up. The Leeds celebrations started with the manager, coaches and subs racing over to the away fans corner. It went on for a good while, slightly raining on our own parade, but fair play to them. One of their players even crawled from one penalty area to the other on his knees. As you do…
Eventually, the Brentford end of season celebrations started. Peter Gilham got the ball rolling by pointing out (more than once) that at no point in the season were Brentford in the bottom three (the inference being that Leeds had been). Then Christian Norgaard emerged from the tunnel carrying his small child. He had been voted player of the season but hadn’t played today through injury. An amusing moment when he was caught saying ‘Fuck’ when he thought his microphone wasn’t working. But Thomas Frank made it alright, when he started his mini-speech with “This place is fucking rock and roll!” At this point the players and staff and their families came out for the lap of appreciation.
Signing-off
In the past, in the Championship and before that in Leagues 1 & 2, we have always gone to as many home games as possible but selective about which away games we attend. This season we attempted to go to every single game, home and away, and very nearly succeeded. You have to take your hat off to those fans who do succeed, and who do so season in season out. They are a breed apart.
Obviously, in all leagues, not just the Premier League, there are some teams that are better than others. But attending so many games one after the other reinforces that awareness of fine margins, close calls, lucky escapes and wrong decisions all totting up. A differentiator.
It’s hard to believe this special season has ended. And with Brentford finishing in 13th pace to boot.
Bees are staying up! I said Bees are staying up!
Around Hanwell and up the allotment 
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